Not color blind
One of the things I am really liking about Ty’s new school is the diversity. I am not sure if it is his age or what, but it seems like a fog has been lifted off his eyes and for the first time he is recognizing that not everyone looks just like him; even in our own family. I am not so sure I like this fact, either.
It all started when A decided it would be a good idea to point out to him who has what color skin in our family. I am not too happy about that. Honestly, it never even crossed my mind that any of us did have different shades of skin. I mean I guess we do, but it just never was anything I even thought about. I am not sure if Ty even noticed it until A made it a big to do over the whole thing.
Since that day, he has been really aware that this person has brown skin, this person has white skin, etc, etc. I have talked with him extensively about how we are all the same, just with different shades of skin. I took out several age appropriate books at the library and read those with him.
He has never been a stranger to different races, even within our own family. My MIL is Korean, A is half Mexican, the boys went to a Jewish school. We have friends of all races, and Ty has spent time with them over the years. It never seemed to phase him until now.
His new school has a wide variety of all races both within the students and teachers. With him being thrust into such a multi-cultural experience has really given me lots of opportunities to talk with him about different cultures. I have noticed his emphasis on color of skin has started to fade a bit.
I have to admit I still shudder every time he points someone out based on the color of their skin. I try to explain that it’s not polite to do this and try to give him an example of a better way to phrase his description. “The girl with the pink shirt and long hair” as opposed to “the brown girl.” This school has so many different people that now he is forced to use a better description than the color of their skin. I like that.
I am not just trying to be PC, or overly sensitive, either. In our own family, we know how words can hurt. I don’t want my children to be on the receiving or giving end of those dialogs. As prepared as I thought I was to handle the race issue, I find myself fumbling around. I wonder, has anyone found a great way to explain and discuss this with their children?
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4 Responses to “Not color blind”
September 27th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
It’s tricky. I want my daughter to realize that it’s impolite to loudly refer to someone by a physical characteristic (skin color, weight, whatever). On the other hand, I don’t want to shush her (”don’t say X color of skin!”) and give the impression that different skin colors are somehow shameful and something that you just don’t talk about. So far, I’ve just tried to treat her questions and observations as completely natural, which I suppose they are.
September 27th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Sounds like you’re doing good, Mum.
Mama Zen- good point! I might be guilty of that. I just never thought of it that way. Thanks!
September 28th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
hannah is at the JCC but there is a small jewish community here and it is very segregated in terms of race. I hate it!!!!!!
I long for a culturally diverse city to help me raise my child. It only enhances everything when we are all trying to get through life together…
great post
May 20th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
I my self am biracial, my husband is black. We have two children together. A boy and a girl, they are 3 and 4 years old. Everyday it seems like they are asking a new question that comletely stumps me. I need to exsplain me to them and how that relates to them being biracial also. I’ve been told that if you are 1/4 black you are considered black. I don’t think this way but, other people do. I dont want them to deny themself because it is socially exceptable to just call themselves black. I’m proud of who iam and want them to be proud of that part of themselfs also.