I should probably state this right off the bat. I am not a “fun” type of person. When people say my name the word “fun” is not usually associated with me. Don’t get me wrong. I like to have fun, do fun things and laugh and stuff, but I am generally serious.

My type of fun is having deep discussions, exploring new places, trying new things. I will sit at a bar and throw back a few drinks, but I would not be the one to ever suggest this. I would much rather sit at home and drink some wine and chat.

I don’t have a myspace account filled with crazy pictures of me and my girls going out, doing shots, getting crazy. Nope. Not me. I don’t have millions of friends leaving me silly messages and open invitations of “let’s go get together!”

I don’t have a lot of real life friends. And… I like it that way.

I would rather have a few good friends that are chill and “boring” like me. Dinner at a nice restaurant with conversation is fun for me. I don’t want to be asked to go out to the local bar with a bunch of people I don’t know. I also don’t like the look of annoyance when I turn them down to do this- again. It’s just not me, it hasn’t been for years, and I am not sure it ever will be me again.

I want to be there for my friends and have them be there for me. I don’t want drama or someone telling me what to do. I want support and understanding. I want to be helpful to my friends, someone they know they can count on to listen. My friends must understand that my family is priority number one and that they take up most of my time.

I think it’s important to have friends, but to me, it’s the quality of friends I have that’s important; not the quantity. I am lucky to have a few friends that understand me and are on a similar wave length. While it may not make for some interesting pictures and videos, it does make me smile. And to me, that’s what having friends is about.

I wrote this for the CHBM’s collaboration on friendship.

This post is only a reflection on my friends in real life. My friends online seem to be a completely different story and is another post in itself…

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I started out writing this as a response to an email I got from Kim and decided to turn it into a post…

We started Ty in a new school this year, after last year being horrible for him and it being a daily struggle to get him to attend. I told myself that this year I wouldn’t push him to continue if it got to be that way because last year his teacher and atmosphere was more detrimental than good.He was excited to start anew, hoping for some “big boy” school work and not just playing- which he finds boring. Last week went okay, but as the week went on he got less and less excited. This week he has fought me on going every day. Today being an all out clinging to my leg and stating how much he hates this school. I am torn because children are great manipulators, but I have already started having my doubts about this place.

Now, I didn’t expect him to love it right from the start, all new things take an adjustment period. I do think he needs the social part of it and the time away from us to be his own person, especially away from Toby. I also find he seems to retain more information when it’s not coming from me. He has 2 friends that came over from his school last year and he already has made a few new friends. Friends are definitely not the issue.

The issue being he is bored. He keeps complaining that the other kids are talking so much that they can’t learn anything. I am sure Ty is far from perfect in this area, but I do know he has always been very well behaved in school, unlike home :). I also know that in the beginning of the school year the teachers have to get everyone on the same page and have been told that a lot of the kids have never been to school before.

To start the day, they have the kids come in and sit at their assigned seat and do nothing. I think this is ridiculous to expect 4 year olds to sit and do nothing for 15 minutes or so. I asked the teachers if maybe they could color or something and I got a firm “no.” Just this quick insight to the day, does make me wonder how boring the rest of the day may be.

Then, I have been checking their schedule which changes week to week. They post it with a general description like letter “A” and 1-5, etc. Ty tells me what they do in class so I get a good run down. I asked the teacher if they will send a letter or copy of the schedule home so we can know what’s going on and I was told they don’t have time for stuff like that. All we get is the art projects- that’s it. I offered to volunteer to help with this and she stated that they pay someone on Thurdays to do this and don’t really have volunteer stuff. When I interviewed the school all 3 times, I specifically asked about this communication and was told I would get a weekly letter.

I asked the teacher if I could see the worksheets they are doing and she told me that not one kid in the class can hold a pencil correctly and they are working on this. I know Ty can, he has been writing for a year now. His other friend has been writing for the entire summer and know that one of the other children from his class last year writes complete sentences and is reading. I am sure they are not the only ones, either. There are only 7 kids in a class and 14 in the room so this kind of bothers me because I feel like they didn’t take the time to really evaluate who can do what. I told the teacher this and she assured me the entire class, without exception, were doing it all wrong. She told me they will work on the sheets when everyone can hold a pencil right , but to not expect a lot b/c the new curriculum was very hands on and not a lot of writing.

This is the other thing that bothers me. Every time I talk to the teachers they talk about this new curriculum and how they don’t have faith in it. Which in turn, really concerns me, especially from what I have already seen. When I looked at the school last year, I got a very different answer about what they would be doing. For one thing, some would start reading, which Ty is on the verge of doing and I want encouraged. I was told this year not to expect it.

My biggest concern is the lack of organization. It all started when we went to the open house, and my hubby and I were over whelmed by the lack of organization. They didn’t even know what kids would be in what class yet! Isn’t that the point to get to know who your teacher is and the kids in your class? When hubby mentioned it to me I got a knot in my stomach knowing this might be an issue and my fist sign that this school might not be so right.

Then last week I got a packet with all new forms I filled out during the application process. Apparently, they misplaced my previous packet and needed me to complete them again. I was quite upset because there were questions on the forms about my driver license number, my emergency contact’s driver license numbers, Ty’s medical records and even my social security info. Lucky for me, I refused to give my social security number, as I didn’t see why they needed that, but am still upset by the rest. They performed an extensive search but didn’t locate my old stuff so I had to give it all to them again.

I know in the beginning of school there are things to be worked out before the class can get in their groove. The teachers told me that around September 5 we will get a packet with some stuff about the classroom in it. They told me they haven’t had a chance to get it ready yet, that’s why it has been taking so long. Which makes me wonder why? They did know school was starting, I have offered to help get it together, it just bothers me.

I don’t want to be hasty in my judgments, but also don’t want to fall into a trap like last year where I spent a good portion of the year wishing things would get better or that we weren’t at that school. I am worried about having to uproot Ty mid year or leaving him in a place that I am less than confident and happy about. My kid wants structure and learning, and I want to give that to him. I am worried he will continue to hate school and have a bad attitude about school before “real” school even starts. It’s so disappointing to find so many things not as what they told me they were going to be.

I am thinking of giving it a month to see how things go. I have another school in mind if this one doesn’t work out, but am worried there may not be any spots if I decide to switch. I know it’s only preschool, but I am worried about the tone it will set for Ty’s school experience. I have read the brilliant post from Kim, which I think applies here even if it’s not Kindergarten, and still am on the fence about what to do. I am thinking of going to the administrator, but once again am concerned I am being hasty.

Suggestions? Anyone? Bueller?

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