Archive for June, 2006

Liar, Liar… My heads on Fire!

Monday, June 26th, 2006

One of, No. Not one of, My BIGGEST pet peeve is lying. Lying just really irritates the heck out of me. I have been given so many lies lately it seems like no one is trustworthy….

Friend I was supposed to meet at the mall for my once in a decade I-get-to-shop-without-the children excursion…

“I couldn’t call you to tell you I wasn’t going to meet you because I slept over la-la’s and didn’t bring my charger & don’t have a car charger and am just leaving now and my phone was dead.”

“oh, it was?”

“Yes”

“So how are you calling me now?”

“Uhm… well, oh I gotta go lots of traffic”

Brother on the weed bud he left on my table by my front door…

“Thats not my weed you found.”

“K- you do smoke and I did catch you smoking there the other day”

“It wasn’t me.”

“Ok, it must of been one of the neighbors coming over to leave it by my door, or maybe it was one of the boys who left it there. you know my 2 and 3 year old are big pot heads”

Lawn guy…

“I will be over tomorrow to cut your lawn. I will clean that huge snake pile I let build up in the back and haul it to the dump.”

“Ok, well I won’t be around so let me pay you now….”

Three months later and after 2 years of service no call no service.

Lawn guy #2….

“Oh I will be over tomorrow to give you an estimate.”

“Oh my gosh! Did we forget to call you and come by? Oh well I was in an accident and yes, uhm, my truck was totaled and I had to go get checked out at the hospital. I will come Thursday.”

“Ok well I will charge you a measly $90 a month to turn your house into the picture on Lawn and Garden. It is quite a mess so I will be out tomorrow or Saturday to clean this up”

“Wow, how you feeling and is this your truck?”

“huh?”

“You know the accident?”

“What acciden- OHHH yeah, I’m fine and they fixed her up nice.

Friday….

Saturday…

Monday…”I’m sorry the Sprint PCS number you are trying to call is temporarily not in service.”

Meanwhile the association is over here snapping shots to future us not in Lawn and Garden but in their issue of the association newsletter on Why are Property Values are Decreasing.

“Mummy, Why can’t we go out to play?”

“Sweetie, Mummy has yet to purchase us the proper safari attire which would be appropriate for fighting off ticks and tigers.”

I am sure if you have been to a kids sports game you have seen “One of THOSE” parents. Ty is currently on a basketball team and since the very first day the team got together I have been in awe of one couple who has two boys on the team. I have such a hard time keeping my attention on my Ty because the commotion and real game is always much more interesting with this family.

Ty’s team consist of 3 and 4-year olds. This family has one of each on the team. Most games consist of the kids holding the ball running down the court and shanking it off the Little Tykes basketball hoop. Then the coach hands it to the other team and yet more of the same. Meanwhile we have The Family over on the sidelines performing something like this…

Mom-”Michael, you need to put your shirt on or you can’t play in the game.”

“I’m busy right now” (doing nothing but irritating you both”

“Micheal, if you don’t put your shirt on, you are NOT going to go to Fresh Market with us!

“Humpf” (oh no, not go to Fresh Market? But that is a kids dream! I mean please don’t tell me you will take grocery shopping away!)

Meanwhile Dad and Trevor—

“Trevor, get in there grab the ball run Trev run!”

Trev grabs ball making 3 year old little girl cry…

“Trev- give the girl the ball - you need to share! You want me to take you home?”

“No, you…”

Trev hush up and get back to the game and share.”

Trev runs over and tries to play…

“Trev if you aren’t going to play nice I… (Dad grabs arm and roughly drags kid out) SAY GOOD BYE TO EVERYONE! DON’T BE RUDE”