A humorous post Nutmeg wrote a bit back has really been bouncing around in my head. Not only has it made me laugh out loud at completely random inopportune times and confirmed many suspicions of my craziness, but has me reflecting.

So while the brilliant and beautiful Nutmeg has started Filch It Fridays, I am going to break the rules and post mine on Thursday. Because I am a rebel like that.

The post that really stuck with me is the one if which she reflects on the incessant talking of her gorgeous daughter, Rowan. The post really hit a nerve with me because my Ty is oh-so-similar. He never shuts up, especially when we are in the car. While Rowan seems content on retelling stories from when she was two, Ty asks non-stop questions.

“Do squirrels poop? Where do they poop? Why don’t I ever see the poop? Have you seen a squirrel poop?” and on and on and on…

I have a bad habit of tuning the kids out. Not just Ty in the car, but at home, too. I am not so sure why I do it besides, Please! for the love of all that is pure,leave me alone with my thoughts of shopping lists, phone calls and blog posts. Or maybe, I sometimes imagine, it is a built in preservation mode to hold onto some sanity.

Then it all hit me. The other day I was sitting at the table, writing out the next two weeks of menus and shopping lists and looked up and realized I just had a “conversation” (and I use that word VERY lightly) with A and I had no idea what we just talked about. She asked me something. I responded with something. AND. I had no idea what was even said.

I live in my head way too much.

I must come off as a very spacey person because I live a lot of my life thinking, mulling over stuff inside. As much stuff that comes gushing out of my son’s mouth is gushing inside my brain. I miss turns while driving, I get lost in conversations, and am missing a lot of the here and now because I am somewhere else.

I came across this Taoist quote the other day:

“Life goes on around you, but you’re not present. Your mind is focused on your desires, fears and plans. The sage lives in the present moment to see all its opportunities.” –Lao Fzu

I have decided to make a change. I am trying to move from living in my head, to living in the present. When my kids start to chatter on about something, I am trying to listen intently. After all, they won’t be chattering on like this to me for very long. Soon, I am guessing, I will be begging for a rundown of their day and will only get a few teenage grumps.

If I miss the beginning of their spiel because I was in boogiemum land, I am making them start over so I can hear the whole thing. I vow to stop typing, dreaming, and planning to listen. AND if I can’t at that moment, I will be honest with them and tell them to come back because I am closed for business at the moment.

While I believe that a smudge of tuning out is normal and harmless, I realize I have been doing this to extreme. I don’t want to wake up someday and realize I don’t have a clue what my kids have been yapping about for the past 5 years. I want to be in the moment, in their moment.

*This blog post, due to the kids being home for Spring Break, took me 5 hours to type. BUT, I do know now that Ty thinks he should wear his knee pads when he skateboards later, Toby hates bananas now, and A found her cardboard for mixing paint.

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