Toby: Mummy, what do fish eat?

Me: I don’t know. Fish food?

Toby: No, Mummy, fishing poles!

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Ty: I made a new friend today. He is so cool; he has long hair and a gold necklace.

Me: What’s his name?

Ty: Jet Army

Me: Really? I think maybe you got his name wrong.

The next day I go drop Ty off and a mother comes up to me telling me her son’s name is Jeremy and all he has done for the last couple days is talk about his new friend Ty.

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Hubby was putting the boys to bed the other night & had told them to stay in bed. As soon as he left the room Ty got up and was rearranging a stool that was in his room. Hubby got upset and told Ty to get back in bed, which sent Ty into an uncontrollable breakdown.

Me: You know that Ty is just like me. He needs everything arranged perfectly before he can relax and go to sleep.

Hubby: Great, another weirdo in the house.

Me: I am just telling you to be a little understanding of Ty’s eccentricity, because I know how it feels to not be able to sleep until everything is in it’s place.

Hubby: Okay.

He goes back in and gives Ty the stool. Ty puts in where it goes, stops crying and goes to sleep immediately. Later that same night while Hubby is playing a computer game, I come out scantily dressed to get his attention…

Me: Hey Honey, I am getting ready for bed and need some help rearranging my stool. Can you come in here?

Hubby: (gives me a strange look) What?

Me: Come help me with my “stool” (wink, wink-trying to be sexy)

Hubby: (with a disgusted look on his face) Are you talking about your poop?

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